😟😢💔 should I let go?

Question

I've known my fiancé for 16 years now. He chased me for 16 years too 😑....I nvr gave him a chance bc of the type of lifestyle he chose to live, also he is known for being loopy 😜😝😛 but over these years he was the only man to nvr give up...I have a son who knows him better than he does his own daddy....so I overlooked his past bc I'm no saint either and gave this a chance. In the beginning it was perfect I've nvr had a man show me sooo much love I fell deep and hard instantly. But then things started to change he started taking my phone and my car keys and now I'm being accused of liking his brother and not being sure on what I want. The type of job he has keeps him gon a lot and is very risky, at any moment he could be taken away, so I try to motivate him to do better to not settle, but he says I'm trippin he says I'm trying to stop him from making money when that's not the case I just want better for him. He gets so angry so quick and calls me some horrible names but I make excuses and say he's jus angry he jus needs to calm down. I'm the type of woman that will fight hard for love but at the same time I kno I've done nothing to deserve this. He's been gon for three days now and I feel like my world is jus gloomy. He called me at 1 this morning just to say he loves me. Then popped up a few hours later he came home brought bill money said he'd see me later n left. Im trying to give him space to sort things out in his head but at the same time I feel like we should be able to talk things thru....idk I'm in love with a bad boy with a good heart.....the things he's been thru n seen in his life have made him difficult to deal with at times....what should I do!!!!! 😔😔😔

Answer

You're making excuses for him because YOUR heart is full of love and in the right place. His is not. He doesn't see you as his saving grace (despite what he says); he sees you as someone to control and be there to take care of HIM. It isn't mutual. You won't leave him until it gets worse and you are fleeing for your life, but please know that you deserve better and only you can make the brave decision to get out from under his fist. Every abused girl I know, whether physically or emotionally, says they feel bad because he deserves a chance and they are the only ones that see enough good in him to give him that chance. (All got really hurt and are out of the relationship now.) It's not your place to be his savior. dependence is very unhealthy. The best way to show love is to leave and hold your head up high. He's a big boy and you aren't his momma. You are a very loving woman that deserves to be someone's top priority. Your heart may feel broken into a million tiny pieces at first but the new heart and confidence you will receive is well worth the short-lived pain. You can make it out a much happier person but only you have that power.

Answer

It sounds like he chased you for 16yrs because he has an unhealthy fixation. Now that he has you under his grip he wants to control you. I would leave and I am also curious about what kind of job he does, if he's dangerous then you need to make sure you and your son leave no trace of where you are going. He sounds like the kind who would hunt you down.

Answer

Take it from me. I've been with that guy before. Drug dealer/smuggler, in & out of prison etc.... Trust me when I tell you, you can't ever change him, he has to want it for himself. Do what's best for your life and child.

Answer

Just about every person that has responded so far has told you the same thing....your guy is into the drug game, he's not gonna get better, and you need to leave if not for yourself then for your kid. Every single time you made excuses and came up with reasons they're wrong and that you should stay because you seem to think you can change him...he's better than he was....he was so great back in the day. So I'm going to say that maybe you need to look at yourself. What makes you qualified to "save" this man from himself?  How can you be okay with someone controlling your life life this; taking your phone and keeping you controlled?  Why do you think you deserve to be treated so dang shabbily?  Instead of trying to fix him and help him with his issues, maybe it's time to focus on yourself and figure out why you have this codependent type of personality. The only person in this world you can change is yourself, so if you truly want happiness you've gotta look within.

Answer

sounds like a clip from captain save a hoe. He is who he is. sounds like a drug dealer bringing you the "bills" and you have a child wrapped in this nonsense. Do us all a favor and don't have any more children until you can make better decisions

Answer

What kind of job does he have? You make it sound like he runs drugs or something...dangerous, gone for days at a time, returns with bill money, leaves again, you never mention the job or asking him to find something else. And if that's the case and it's any kind of illegal money earning, I wouldn't want my kid anywhere near that. Wouldn't matter how nice the guy ever was, that kind of crowd can easily bleed into your family and involving them in the danger.

Regardless of what's going on in your case, there was nothing you said that makes him sound like a worthwhile guy to be with. Who cares how nice and loving he was in the beginning? It sounds like he hasn't been that way in so long that it no longer matters. He's not the man he once was, and has no reason to change, and I wouldn't hang around.

Answer

Have you talked to him and told him how he makes you feels when he treats you like that?

Answer

You need to get out,  nothing good can come from that.

😟😢💔 should I let go?

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