We've had a rough couple of weeks. My husband has been distant and extremely mentally and verbally abusive. It turns out he cheated on me about 6 months ago. Around the time we were married. We threw a party for our neighbor. It was his birthday and she was his friend so we welcomed her into our home...without a thought. I'm so trusting and gullible. She was older, married with 5 children and definitely a downgrade. A few weeks after the party he invited her over to have sex with him. He said he just wasn't thinking. How can you not be thinking about the consequences of something so terrible? He said he felt like he should hurt me before I had the chance to hurt him. I've never given him a reason not to trust me. A friend told me about it. I asked him and like a coward he lied. I talked to her and she admitted it...in detail. She said he stopped and asked her to leave but it's too late. Regardless, he did it and I don't know how to deal with the betrayal. She told me to please forgive her and him both and try to find it in my heart to work things out with him because he really regretted doing it but that doesn't make it any easier. The what ifs are killing me. I hate to let this destroy our family but he wasn't thinking about me and our girls when he brought her into our home and to our bedroom. I feel like I'd be pulling the knife out and handing it back to him to finish the job. The abuse has stopped...I suppose it came from keeping his secret which isn't a good enough excuse. I'm so torn.