Tmi, I didn't know what else to do.

I lost my baby on 1/3/16 at seven in the morning. I was 15 weeks. I had never been through anything like this and I know only one person personally who has gone through this. I am feeling regret and hating myself for it but the doctor told me to flush the baby. I held it twice, it was so small it fit easily in my finger tips. I didn't want to do it and I couldn't do it my SO did after we named it. Now I'm feeling regret and hating myself for just flushing it. I wish I would have buried it or taken it to the hospital. How do I forgive myself for doing it?