New to posting but certainly a professional lurker. I am 38 and ttc number 1 for almost 2 years. No question more of a just getting it out there type thing. 

I have Endo and I've had it for years. Since 2003.  "Basic " fertility lab work looked pretty good (ovarian reserve, thyroid etc) aside from slightly low estrogen. Most recent transvaginal ultrasound showed no cyst or fibroids etc. I do ovulate on my own. Periods are regular though short and painful as heck. Luteal phase is 14 days. My SO semen analysis looked pretty good too. 

 I guess I am listing all these "positives " because my mind is going to the what ifs on the other side. What if I'm riddled with scar tissue? What if my tubes are jacked up too bad? Etc etc etc. Why the mini freak out ? I'm having a Lap done on 1/20. It's actually been planned for months but I saw my doctor today for the pre surgery visit and it's real now. She's going to  check for more Endo, she'll check my tubes and take a look at my uterus as well. She is optimistic and talking about how we proceed after to get us our baby but that's if it goes well. So I just feel like a lot is riding on this. I know the all clear is no guarantee I'll get pregnant but it's a chance. The what ifs coming to fruition well there goes that chance. I can't afford <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. 

Well, I got it out and I actually feel better. Here's to trying to keep the negative at bay. Thanks for reading. 

Tldr; laparoscopy soon and I'm freaking nervous.