Is it cheating

I am married and let a guy go down on me twice. we attempted intercourse but he was unable to get hard so we didn't. shortly later i felt bad n broke it off. he was opposite fr hubby. this guy was super controlling and jeaslous n wanted me to leave my husband. even though it was his idea to hook up no strings attach then later he fell in love n i wasnt leavn hubby. anyway its been four years n sometimes i think about him for sexual purposes. i dont have any real feelings for him. what should i do?  i told hubby n we fixed r marriage with counseling years ago. plus he cheated on me before too but both of us have improved and have a stronger marriage. anyway. how can i stop ocasionally thinkin about this man sexually? second question, if he did not penetrate me is it cheating?