Fucked up things with my soulmate!

Montana • 19, healthy and happy. Love you Natalie Marie Smith💗 proud pup parents
I have trust problems, so does he. I fell off the edge and sent him about 50+ messages cussing him out. He completely cut me off. I need him back in my life. I've cried every night we aren't in bed together. I can't imagine my future without him! Someone help!? What do I do!? I need my person back.