Ever since I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship I haven't been able to get off the way I used to before.

All I know is that I used to really enjoy porn from time to time, or I'd enjoy my own sexual fantasies but I can't do that anymore. He was my first constant sexual partner and also the only that I connect to all my sexual memories so perhaps that's why he keeps popping up in my head randomly if I watch porn or fantasize.

However recently I gave hentai a try which I had never understood how people could enjoy and boom, it was able to replace porn for me. I watched videos, I even read the Manga stuff and I found out I really enjoy it and I can finally get off without him on my mind.

I really wanted get this out of my chest. It does bother me but I believe it is because the break up is fresh (2 months ago and we were together for 7 months) and I will one day be able to fantasize without him popping up in my mind.