Mamas what would you do?

Question

Mamas! I need some serious advice here. I recently found out I was pregnant, I'm about 9 weeks now. The man who is the father I am no longer with. I recently left him because he was sexually abusive. - which took a number of session with my therapist to be convinced to leave him. 
The problem is he stopped by unexpectedly yesterday and say the pictures from my first ultrasound. 
Am I supposed to involve him in this child's life? I want absolutely NOTHING to do with him, and wasn't fully sure if I was ever going to tell him. But now he knows and what's to be involved. He even wants to come to my next appointment. Which I'm not comfortable with! What would you ladies suggest/do?

Answer

I'm sorry you went through that. I would not let him come to any of the appointments and after the baby comes if he still wants to be a part of things he can go to court. You therapist can testify to the things that happened. Keep yourself safe.

Answer

Do you in any way feel like he'd bring harm to your baby? You don't have to bring him along to your appt if you don't want to. It is personal. But do know that he has rights as a father too. Once the baby is born he could fight for visitation rights and custody.

Answer

I would not allow it. Do not give that baby his last name and of you need to get a restraining order on his ass so he stays away.

Answer

I wouldn't allow him to be involved in the baby's life or your life at all. He lost his rights to that baby when he sexually abused you. I'd get a restraining order if possible.

Answer

Absolutely not!  If he was sexually abusive do you want him near your child?  Maybe if he gets serious counseling for a long period of time, I would consider it.  MAYBE.  I personally believe sexual predators are incapable of change.

Answer

Thanks for your input mamas, I honestly wasn't planning on telling him so him finding out has thrown me off. I really don't want him at my appts so I'm going to avoid this as best I can. The more upsetting part is that he could get partial custody of the baby 😔 I plan to breastfeed again, I can't have my little going off to someone's house.

Answer

Honestly if the father of my child was any type of abusive i wouldnt allow him near my baby. I wouldnt even put him on the birth certificate

Answer

You do not have to allow him to any of your appointments or the birth, and I wouldn't. After that a court will decide if he's still interested in pursuing it. Most aren't. Don't sweat it right now. You've got 31 weeks left. A lot can change in that time and it's likely that if you don't involve him, he will lose interest.

Mamas what would you do?

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