Got a message today... my best friend told me she is 5w4d pregnant. She wanted to go ahead and tell me and not hide it because of our recent mc. And I am super happy for her... I swear I am... but dadgum I could cry right now... not so much jealousy... as it is longing? I wish we were in this boat together... I wish my baby was still growing inside of me... I don't want to wonder what if.... I dread the day of what would have been our due date... and I'm scared I won't be able to be happy and supportive... I feel terrible about that... selfish... I wish I didn't feel like this... it makes me feel like a bad person... my digital preg test still says pregnant and I took it on Jan 2... how has it lasted so long!? This is just killing me... I was literally kinda feeling normal... or what I assume the new normal is going to be... ♡