Ladies ♡

Today I have made a big decision. I was supposed to see my OBGYN this afternoon to start Clomid. While at school today (I'm a teacher) I just thought to myself: "Yes, it HAS been more than a year" and "Yes, I REALLY want a baby" but do I want to "force" it? Now before I'm misunderstood - I do ovulate naturally - so this prescription purely would've been to stimulate the release of more eggs and to hopefully get me pregnant sooner.

The thing is, WHY? I'm 25. Why is it that month after month my world comes crashing down when AF arrives? Why do I start testing at 4dpo and obsess my way through each month?

My wish is to conceive naturally. I want it to just "happen". I want to make love to husband and one day just realize "Hey, shouldn't AF have been here a week ago?". I want to jet off to the store in a frenzy, buy a pregnancy test (not pick one from the 100s in my bathroom cabinet), poas in the middle of the day and be surprised with a BFP "out of nowhere".

Maybe, after a few months or after a year or two - if it has not happened for us yet - I will go the Clomid route. But for now I want to focus on loving my husband, on being the best version of me and maybe, just maybe I will be one of the "lucky" ones.

Ps - I think Clomid is amazing and I wish every single lady using it will achieve the best possible result. I'm just not there yet and I just wanted to share ♡

UPDATE:

Almost one year later and tomorrow I will be filing a prescription for Clomid. When starting a TTC journey you never imagine yourself being the struggling one. But here we are. May God guide us every step of the way and may His devine plan become clear to us.