I'm convinced that as of our last argument that my love has turned to hate and I think he likely never was a fan of mine. We ve been married almost 5 years. For months I have begged and begged and screamed and tried to sweetly convince him to stop coming home at 2 am. On our anniversary he didn't come home til 6 the next morning. I think I had been in denial of what is right in my face. He doesn't come home and during our argument the other night he stated he can t express how many times he wishes I were 6 ft under. How he gets bored after 5 minutes w me, how u can't have children and constantly tell him what to do. He said I am not his mother and cannot force him to abide by a curfew. I broke down crying like a bitch and asked him to tell me why he treats me the way he does and why does he insist on intentionally hurting me. He claimed he s just doing what he wants and I'm unhappy bc he doesn't bow to me. He kept backing me up to the wall screaming til he was spitting on me. He told me he needed to leave bc he felt he was losing control. He left and came back at 330 am and we haven't spoken since except the things that have to be said. Of course he blows up my damn fantasy I d painted in my head when I FINALLY start seeing a damn fertility doc. I may never get to be a mom if I cancel this. I'm damn devastated but above all else I feel an anger I cannot seem to calm and a resentment I'm thinking I may never fix. What's crazy is i workout, let him blow money, never say no to sex and have already given up so many standards to appease him. I think I hate him. I am so disgusted. He always uses threats to get me to do what he wants whether it's threatening to leave or to hit me. It had been awhile til this argument but the old assholes came back out and now I'm confused as hell.