Would it be too much to ask for ?

Question

For him not to go anymore ?
Story: So for the past 4 Saturdays, my husband has been waking up early to go to his parents house and to go to his brother's game (they are on a sports team) he ends up not coming until the afternoon around (5:30-6) which is pretty much almost the whole day. It's starting to get really annoying especially because he doesn't ask me if I need to or want to go anywhere, instead of spending the day with us he will go with them. I mean yeah he only sees them twice a week but I don't feel as if he needs to spend almost the whole day there -.- I don't have any family or friends I can go with and I hate staying alone with my baby soon we will be welcoming another baby and I'm going to need a lot of help from him , it's like is he going to freaking leave me the whole day when our other baby is born or wtf. He doesn't invite me to go with him because he knows I don't like going and his family and I don't get along much. It doesn't help that we only have ONE car . I don't want to be walking around the streets with my baby without any form of  protection. I hate how he says "I have to go to their game" like no you don't HAVE to they are not your kids not your responsibility, your family is us now! I know I may sound like a total bitch but he works 5 days a week so we hardly get to spend any time with him and I feel like his days off should be spent with us not them

Answer

Maybe you can drop him off and pick him up so that you can have the car for the day. I would also ask him to limit it to once a week so his other day can be spent with you and the baby. I spend a lot of time at my moms house when she's home (usually 2 days a week) and my husband is not a big fan. But he usually just relaxes and watches tv at home while I'm there. I of course take the baby so it's a little different.

Answer

I think you two need a chat. 
Maybe after the babies born if you still don't want to go he should take the kids and give you some "you time"even if you spend the whole day sleeping 
For now though I agree with the other couple comments I read once a month/every other week is more than enough
You and your kids are his family now and you're the only ones he should want to be spending time with 
You could also drive him there and pick him up again when he's done that way you'll have the use of the car

Answer

It's only once a week! I see my family every Week, at least one day, for the entire day. Difference being that my husband actually comes with me. But your choosing not to go is on you. When you partner with someone you partner with their family as well. You can't ask him to give that up bc you don't like them. They are his family! Grow up!

Answer

I think you are right to feel the way you do. They are his family of origin and you and your children are his immediate family now, he must make you a priority above all things. However I don't think it's fair for you to say don't go at all, maybe split the time in half. Two Saturday's with you and two with them, alternated. I can see why you basically feel stranded.

Answer

Let him have some fun! Its for one day!

Answer

I don't think it's too much to ask. You shouldn't have to go with him if that's the only way you two are going to spend time with each other. He has his own family now, separate from his parents and siblings and they need to understand. His free time should be spent with you. What would be the point of you going with him if you're going to be miserable the whole time? He can reserve a couple Saturdays each month just for you two.

Answer

Wow sorry but u sound pretty selfish.... If u don't want to be alone put on your big girl panties and go make nice with his family. His family was there long before you were, and they'll be there if you ever aren't in the picture. Just because you don't have anyone to spend your time with, doesn't make it ok to ask him to not spend his time with anyone but you. Drop him off, take his car and go find somewhere to go. Or like I previously said, make nice with his family and go with him.

Answer

I feel like you could make an effort as well. You said you don't get along with his family? Well how about you meet in the middle! You go with one once a week and he cuts the time shorter? That way you're showing that you want to be involved with his family and you want him to be involved with his family. But you also want him to spend more time with you. Just communicate with him on a civil, well mannered level. And meet in the middle.

Answer

I think its insanely selfish to ask him not to see his family.  I can tell you right now, if my SO asked me to not spend the day with my family i would lose my shit on him. I think you should either go enjoy the day with him, or suck it up. Family is a huge part of life and you should be fortunate enough to even HAVE them.

Answer

Honestly I think this might be a bit overboard... He works a full time job to support your family & you're mad because he wants to spend one day a week with his parents & siblings? Sounds like you should patch up your relationship with his family & he'd invite you to spend time with them also. If that's not part of your plan you should be willing to compromise, or else he might feel like you're trying to alienate him from his own family.

Would it be too much to ask for ?

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