I'm not a fan of the word jealous but....

I was brought up to appreciate when we had money to spend and when we didn't.

I've had good money coming into the household and (like at the moment) I've been beyond poor. Really makes me appreciate when we can go buy groceries and do have money for gas.

However I'm slightly jealous of people who have always had money and have never had to suffer or go without. What a life that must be.. but since I've been in both ends of the spectrum I do really appreciate when we can afford the basics..

I'm stressing beyond my control at the moment. It's really hard not to worry when you literally don't have enough to cover all your bills, can't get any groceries, no money for gas.

Why does life have to be so sour at times... why.. my guy is such a hard worker. He has to drive 90 miles round trip from home-to work-to home. And it sucks that they don't compensate him for having to drive. I currently don't work (yeah I'm a lazy bitch for that right?), I am a stay at home mom. We don't have food stamps (wish we did in times like this).

We are careful with our spendings. He never use to be but I'm trying so hard to get him use to saving when we actually can and not buying things we don't NEED when we can't afford it. I haven't bought myself anything for months and months and months, because that's what moms do, they sacrifice for their family. Their kids and men. I have about 3 weeks left until my first born son is here. He has two children from a previous marriage that we get to see every weekend. I wish we had full custody, because their mother doesn't do a thing for them.

We've been barely making it paycheck to paycheck the last few months but we've made it and now I feel like we are going down in quick sand.

I just needed to vent... I don't want people to feel sorry for me. That's not why I posted... I just needed to get it off my chest. It's one of those days..

I appreciate what we have but it really sucks when you are low and keep getting lower 😩😣😤😦😧😳😔🙈