Idk what I'm doing

I'm 15 and my boyfriends 21.. Couple nights ago i went to a party with my friend and i ended up kissing my classmate , then I went crusing and kissed another boy .. But I didn't go any further , me and my boyfriend have been together for half a year but this last month got very complicated for us he was lying to me and we got into many fights so we haven't seen eachother for about 2 weeks and idk why I cheated like I love my boyfriend but things don't seem the same and I kinda jus wanna do me , as in sports school and focus on myself but I think I'm jus staying with him because I'm very comfortable with him