I feel horrible

It had been my dream for years to conceive, after being told it was very unlikely i would, my partner and i ttc. Soon thereafter, we started having even worse problems in our relationship and parted ways. I found out i was pregnant and began my journey alone. My entire pregnancy was miserable, he continued being a nightmare and my family weren't proving to be any better. I was completely alone and bringing a baby into a broken family. I finally had her and thought things had finally aligned. I'd picked up the pieces and it was just her and i.

She has been a complete nightmare! I feel horrible to say, but had i known she would be this way i probably wouldn't have had her. I feel like an already depressing life has become much much worse. She cries and cries and cries, unless she's eating, then she cries more. She rarely sleeps, I've tried everything. We visit the doctor about every two weeks trying new things, but nothing her deemed right. I dont know what to do!

I love her more than anything or anyone, but she's just making my life so miserable and my depression is getting so much worse. It feels like God is cursing me continuously, I'm so at a point in life where I'm tired of being so sad all of the time and the baby has completed my broken circle, but I'm not happy with life.

Everyone is saying I'm just going through PPD, my God...



will it ever go away? I want to be happy with my daughter, not upset everytime she wakes up.