I'm in love BUT!

I'm in love with my exboyfriend -(boyfriend haven't broken up yet ) I put a restraining order on him and he was severed today. I want to take the restraining order off , but I don't want to look like a lair when all the events happened and made me get the restraining  order on him . Idk what to do . I'm stuck or just plain scared to be with out him .