Pain-Free Birth

Anyone here experience pain-free birth? I would love to hear your birth story and what kinds of preparation that you think contributed to it. 
Also, anyone use clitoral stimulation or massage to manage discomfort/pain? 
If hands can be used for a million tasks -including masturbation, etc - and still not be considered a sexual appendage - then why not the clitoris? Breasts are used to both feed and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">nurture</a> a baby, and stimulate sensuality. Why couldn't the clitoris also have two functions?