So betrayed


So backstory.. to aide my reasoning for being upset

when I started dating my bf he told me he used to be addicted to pain pills , and was now clean... I didn't find out til months later that when he told me that he was only 1 month clean. I couldn't tell at all in anyway he was in recovery, he was very happy and full of life.

Then I found a suboxone wrapper in his pocket doing laundry about a year later and he said he just took one...

Now ff 3 years, I broke up with him, and he wanted me back so bad he wanted to clear his concious and told me he'd been using suboxone 5HE entire time we were dating, he lied about it over and over again.

So about 6 months ago we got back together, expecting a baby due in june.

I've been getting weird feelings lately, I'm a empath and my mind gets really thrown off when I ignore the feelings I'm getting. It's been picking at me for awhile now but I've been shutting it off thinking I'm just hormonal and letting my mind wander.

So when he fell asleep tonight I heard his phone go off around 1020 pm. I had to do it. I had to prove myself wrong so I can ignore these thoughts going forward as just paranoia and not to me being as empathetic as I think I am.

So I go through the messages and it looks like one person is trying to meet up for something and says he already paid him and when is he going to have it.

Then messages from another girl asking him for if he has any (they don't ever mention what any is) and then there are texts of several different meet up plans to get the stuff..

I think he's selling drugs.

I woke him up and asked and he was like huh? I asked him who amanda was and he acted dumbfounded... he's like idk some girl that went to my school.. from my town. Acting very vague and as if he has no idea...then I hit with the why is she messaging you then? He said she wasn't and that's when I fessed up to looking at his texts.

He still was trying to deny it!!! I asked him if he is still using suboxone and selling it and he said no... but then said they were asking about suboxone and he gets them from a old guy in his town and gets them for those ppl texting him.

He gets mad at me for assuming he's a druggie and I said well if you're selling drugs and hanging around these people, what does that say to you?

I made him leave... and for once he didn't fight it bc I think he knows he was wrong...

Like wtf? Now I don't know if he's cheating or selling drugs bc he would not come entirely clean about what's going on and just acted like those messages were not in his phone and wouldn't turn it on to read what it said bc he prob couldn't think of a lie that fast to cover himself.

What would you do? I'm so sick to my stomach..