Need help...

I had a miscarriage a while back. The father said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. Wanted me to abort the baby. Never did... Ended up having a miscarriage. My mom knows about it. I live with my parents.  Now I have major depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I am in a deep depression. Been crying a lot. More then normal. Fighting a bit more with family. Don't have any medicine and haven't takin any for a bit. My dad loves to drink and gets drunk quite a bit. He calls me a whore and say he's surprised I haven gotten pregnant.... 😭 I'm not a whore. I don't sleep around and do stuff. If anything he was the first guy I did anything with. Ended up breaking up with him. He started cheating on me after. I'm really stressed. I have passed out quite a bit. I feel  like I killed the baby and my mom said I didn't. Even my doctor. Can't go to the hospital because of a guy I went to school with works there. He's a jerk and harasses me. Asks for sexual favors too. I feel pretty crappy hearing my friends r having a baby. Even family. I love kids and see them in the future. It's just really hard.Just don't know what to do.... 💔😭😭😭