Miss being pregnant
I don't know if this is exactly postpartum depression or not but my daughter is a week and two days old and I miss being pregnant so bad. When I was pregnant, I thought I was so ready for her to be here, I hated being pregnant because I was so sick and uncomfortable all the time.
Now I miss working and leaving the house. I miss knowing that I was making my own money (boyfriend currently works and I'm on Fmla so my leave is unpaid). I miss feeling my baby kick me from the inside. I miss feeling connected to her.
During the day for the most part I'm fine. Feeding her is pretty terrible because I'm breastfeeding and we had issues until yesterday and she is feeding all the time to where I can barely go to the bathroom. At this point I have no idea how to get anything done that I need to do like dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc.
At night sometimes she cries and wants to eat but refuses to latch. I try to do everything I can but multiple times a night she'll scream for about 20-30 minutes until she gets restless then she'll finally latch. When this happens sometimes I cry because I feel like a huge failure who can't make her daughter happy.
It's the hardest thing to look at your daughter and love her so much but also feel such a lack of a bond.
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