Please help me...

My husband and I have been ttc.

This has become a very stressful time for both of us.

In Nov. 29th, 2014 we found out I was pregnant. We were so excited. On Christmas eve (2014), I was admitted to the hospital after going to my dr visit for a sono and the dr. couldnt locate the baby. At the hospital, the dr confirmed I had an ectopic pregnancy and was administered methotrexate to end my pregnancy.

Of course that was such a big blow to heart for us. Then on February 12 (1 month & a half later).... I had an excruciating pain on my right side of my abdomen. My husband rushed me to the hospital and I was still pregnant and the baby had ruptured my right fallopian tube. I was immediately rushed into surgery and had my fallopian tube removed.

It'll be almost one year since all this happened and about 8 months ttc and its caused lots of problems between my husband and I.

Im very emotional and determined to get pregnant and every month I get my period and every month I get depressed and fight with my husband.

I get so angry and just take it out on my husband. I dont know if Im angry with myself or my husband.

I've made the decision to divorce my husband if I do not conceive with this year.

Its only the right thing to do, right? So he can find someone to give him the children he too desires, right?

He doesnt accept my proposal. He has suggest to adopt but I dont want to adopt. I want to be a mother. I want to go through everything.

I dont know what to do.

I dont know....

I just dont know.