My issue is that i can't talk to my dr about it because i can't afford to see a counselor or pay for meds. I can't afford anything. But I'm starting to hate my fucking life. I can't stand waking up. I'm so angry all the time. My 3yo is so beautiful and smart and i wish i were a better mother to her. But i can't stand listening to her constant talking and ridiculous noises and questions. I'm CONSTANTLY having to twll her to eat with her mouth closed, use silverware, dont hit the cats, get off the counter, and she's starting to ask stupid questions that she knows the answer to because she needs morw attention but jesus f christ. I just dont have the energy. I cant. I cant stand the leaping around and screeches and waking the baby up (whom is extremely colicky and cried for four hours at a time). She'll ask what a floor is. Why can't i hit the cat. She peed in a laundry hamper of clean clothes. She got in the fridge and dumped an entire thing of milk. She unplugged the computer while i was writing a paper. Everyday i tell myself I'm going to pretend to be mor interested and I'm going to play with her and snap less. But i never can. I can't stand it. I can't stand her constant acting out. I cant take her anywhere esp with my constantly screaming baby. I hate being at home. I wish I'd never quit working. I should've gone back to work like the day after birth. I hate everything.