To my dear husband....(venting)

You disgust me. We planned a beautiful life together. We even planned a family....but when I got pregnant and you found out it was twins, you bounced. You drank until you had no clue what you were doing....you abused me while I was carrying your children and you weren't there for me during all my sickness and pain.

You left me with no choice other than to leave you when I was 4 months pregnant and file for divorce. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? How difficult it was for me to tell my family, friends and doctors about what was going on. How about how alone I felt at the hospital when I delivered these two sweet miracles. How I thought everyone at the hospital is wondering where their daddy is? Or how about the time their pediatrician asked me if their dad was planning on being in the picture and me not having a clear answer. Or the pain I feel that you have never once asked about them or cared to see them.

I am so done letting you steal my joy. I am done hurting. You have lost out on so much and for what? Alcohol and your friends? I refuse to put any more thought in to you. You are a low life piece of scum and from this day forward I choose to be happy, to accept what is, and enjoy my babies instead of looking at them and feeling sad that you don't care about them. All I can say is 'you lose'...you lost a good wife, a good step mom to ur boys, a family....you lost everything.