Do you ever feel less than?

Question

There is a woman at my office who was due around the same time I was. She's starting to announce that she's pregnant and I'm hanging my head, feeling not shame but less than. I can't even look at her in the eye. She's not bragging, she has no idea I had what she had then lost it.

I'm not trying to dwell on the shoulda, woulda, coulda's but I'm just feeling... less than. She is full of excitement and I'm full of pain and emptiness.

It's hard to explain but have you ever just felt like you're less than?

Answer

I'm so sorry. My co worker and I both found out we were pregnant the same day a few months ago. She lost the baby at 6 weeks while I'm still pregnant. My heart went out to her. I felt so terrible for her and wasn't sure how to approach the situation afterwards. After she had enough time to grieve she came to me and told me how happy she was for me and asked me to continue to share updates with her. She is now trying again and I pray every day she gets the baby she deserves. I totally feel for you! Hang in there mama! It will happen for you! 💞💞

Answer

I dont blame you :( i have unfollowed my cousin on all social media because we both were expecting and i had an etopic and had to get my tube removed along with terminating the pregnancy...my so and i have been trying for over 3yrs and she didnt even want another and i get so angry...and so jealous

Answer

I felt this way.i was laying there on the hospital bed looking at my husband and  I couldn't help but to feel useless. My husband has always taken care of me and is the most supportive and understanding person. I kept apologizing to him, I felt useless and scared that he would blame me. Not only has I lost our baby but I was also informed that I had a bicornuate uterus that might cause fertility problems.  It was stupid to think that. When I got home from the hospital I was exhausted and fell asleep imidiately. My husband had stayed up researching about my uterus and how to take care of me. He later told me that it broke his heart to hear me apologize to him. He comforted me so much. He was honestly all I needed him to be and more during that hard time. He let me know that no matter what obstacles or how challenging things get for us he will be there every step of the way with me. I think it's natural to feel this way after something so sensitive to us like miscarriage. You are not less than. I promise you. It gets better. Don't dwell on those negative feelings too much. Come up with a game plan for the future. Wether that is to try again or not. Be honest with yourself about what you want and just stay positive.

Answer

I understand completely. I was pregnant with twins and one day my older co worker told my other co workers and I that share an office that she had not known she was pregnant and just found out at 5 months she was pregnant. She wasn't even trying and she is in her 40s with a high schooler and a middle schooler. This was totally an oops for her and she thought she was starting menopause with an "irregular" period. To her surprise she was pregnant and she was ab22 weeks ahead of me. Inwas 4 and a half months and she was 5. I had been trying for over 2 years and ended up using fertility meds and had two IUIs before the 2nd one took. Well I went away that weekend and basically the sac ruptured on one of my twins and I lost him and we had a miracle and the other one stayed put. That is very rare! But for the following 6 weeks I was taken out of work and I was terrified everyday hoping to remain pregnant with my other twin. I couldn't bare going  to work and working with my co worker..it would have been so depressing. I actually thought if anything happens I wanted a new job and even thought if I had to go back to work if anything else happened I'd talk to hr for a different position hoping they'd understand. Anyway I just made 27 weeks and Im so happy i made it far beyond what Drs thought and my little boy is healthy. Just trying to keep him in as long as possible. That would have killed me to work with her as she sat right next to her every day. That would have been emotional torture!

Answer

I feel it all the time. Is been a little over a week since I lost my little boy and now I see everyone doing their pregnancy announcement or just gave birth and I am like OK they make it seem so easy but what happened to me everything was going well I still don't know the results of the autopsy into why my baby didn't have a heartbeat I didn't have any pain or there wasn't any symptoms. my labs were normal and all my other ultrasounds were normal too

Answer

I totally understand how you feel I was pregnant in 2014 misscarried at 13 weeks got pregnant again in 2015 come to find out my coworker was pregnant too she was 4 almost 5 months when I found out I made it all the way to 21 weeks before had him stillborn I ended up switching to a different school we work as Cafateria cook for board of education in our country all because she ended up having her son and I didn't want to be reminded of my lose and have to answer questions from my coworker or hear her talk about her baby

Answer

I understand completely. We lost our second baby just after she was 12w and our EDD was three weeks ago. In that the week before and the week after our EDD FIVE count it FIVE women I went to high school and college with gave birth to their children. One on my due date. I had to unfollow their news feeds. I'm at the point now where I can be happy for people with new pregnancies but everytime I see those women's baby I just think about what I should be holding and loving on.

Answer

Yes. On the day my boss announced her pregnancy, I mc. It was awful. I thought, "why can't I feel the same thing she does?" That was over a month ago. I'm fine now and have been ttc as AF came and went and now I'm due to ovulate. It takes time, doesn't make you forget, but it gets easier. Keep your head up. It will be your turn soon.

Answer

Yes...my neighbor is pregnant...due 2 weeks before I would have been with my first loss, so try as I might,  I can't stop thinking about the coulda, woulda because it is staring me in the face...she is having a successful pregnancy and I had a chemical and now an ectopic...I am very happy for her but I don't ask her any questions about the pregnancy because it hurts too much :-/

Answer

I understand how you feel. I lost my baby May 2015. I still struggle with it all the time (we weren't ttc and the timing still has not been right to try for real). I have coworkers and friends who are currently pregnant and it's really hard. I feel like I failed at the one thing women are supposed to be able to do. Stupid, I know, but I still feel that way. And I hate knowing that some of them don't want their baby at all when I would give anything to have mine back. It's just a process, I guess. But I feel ya.

Do you ever feel less than?

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