pregnant

Janelle
hey guys, 
so my partner and I ( dating almost 4 years)  have found out I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. we used protection - pill and condoms.
we are sadly are not ready to have this bundle and he prefers me to have an abortion. he wants to propose to me etc. 
I am just wondering if anyone eles out here has had an abortion? and how did you mentally get through it? I'm a complete mess at the moment and I haven't had the abortion yet :( please no judgement or rude comments as I'm feeling useless already and don't need to be put down even more.