Fluctuating midsection/unable to find uterus.

Ashlee
I am 9w 6d and I'm constantly on edge. 
Suffered a loss last summer, so every change just sends me through the roof.
I've been super bloated up to this point, I looked nearly 5 months pregnant some days. Now nothing. I look totally normal. Just the tiniest pudge. 
I also tried to feel around for my uterus last night and I can't find anything different or noticibly hard above my pelvic bone. 
We have our first appointment with our midwife tomorrow and I'm feeling really discouraged.