Being a mom changed my life and I loved it for the first four years. I went through my divorce and my daughter was like my only friend......But if you're a mom (especially if you're a stay at home mom), you might be familiar with how I've been feeling lately. 

My daughter is a very eccentric almost six year old, her personality has really blossomed and I try to remind myself daily that I'm not her friend, I'm her mom. She cries at the drop of a hat, literally...if she drops her hat, she cries about it. She is annoying, so annoying I feel like I want to kill myself at times. She thinks it is so hilarious to say my name 1,000 times in a row and laughs hysterically when she sees me begin to lose my grip. She whines when I feed her, she has become manipulative and acts like its the end of the world when I call her out. She makes me feel like her worst enemy, when I remind her that it's my job to be hard on her. She compares me to her dad's new girlfriends, who always spoil her rotten and let her eat tons of sugar. IM NOT YOUR FUCKING FRIEND. She has zero common sense, to which I have to remind myself that she's only been alive for a few years....why would she have common sense at this age? It's my job to teach her. If I let up, cave, or show her any signs of weakness she takes the hand I give her and tries to run with my whole arm. So, no, I'm consistent and refuse to let her win.

But days like today? I really feel like quitting! Parenting is the hardest, most frustrating, emotionally draining, and shittiest job ever! No. I don't love being a parent. In fact, my husband and I have considered trying for a baby, but my daughter reminds me that no way in hell I want to start all over. I hate being a parent. It's mostly irritation and less of a joy. The older she gets, the more on edge I become. My sanity is just being stripped away one day at a time.

All I can do is dream of the future. A future where no kids live at home and maybe, just maybe my daughter will appreciate that I was hard on her today.

Okay, so this makes me sound like a horrible person, especially on an app riddled with women yearning to become mothers and I get that this sounds like complete and total horseshit to you, but this is just coming from a very defeated mother that knows a lot of you have honestly felt the same way at times. 

Being a mother makes me want to die. It's the hardest job ever and I'll just be over here ripping my hair out while you Glow users rip me apart.