Disappointed

My husband and I don't have sex much anymore but we did this weekend and it was amazing. For about a year now I have tried to change the way I have been, no masturbation, cussing or drinking. Lately I've been slipping and falling back. Today I had 5 glasses of wine and masterbated.. I've also been cussing more. I don't understand why I'm slipping back to the person I don't want to be anymore and I feel so guilty and disappointed in myself and I have no one to talk to