Why!?? I just want to be a mommy ! 😭💔
My Rainbow Baby has decided it wasn't time for me to be a mommy 😪😪
I had my first Miscarriage June 2015
(Saturday) I had brown discharge in my panties & toilet paper after wiping. I got scared and went to the ER. I sat there for 4 hours of testing and waiting for answers. I was discharged at 1 o'clock in the morning with a hormone level of 2,456 , a closed cervix and " a little bit more brown mucus" left over. And instructed to go back Monday for a follow up hormone test and to call my OB.
Sunday I began to have a sharp pain in my left side, it was persistent and nothin helped it to go away. So I spend most of Sunday sleeping.
So I went back in yesterday morning (Monday) had another hormone test. And yesterday afternoon my Doctor called me to inform me that my hormones didn't double, that they had instead went down , and that meant I am having a Spontaneous Miscarriage. 5 weeks & 5 days.
My heart sank!😭😭
I feel so broken. 💔
My soul is exhausted , 🤕
I feel so down. 😔
And confused. 🌀
And angry!!!! 😡😡
And to top it off I still have this terrible pain, stabbing like feeling, all day and night on my left side.
I prayed the doctors were wrong, but this morning my FMU was bright red with blood. I sat on the toilet and cried , my finance had to come get me . I just don't understand why I have to suffer another miscarriage. I was so excited , I was so sure this one was going to be my time. But I was wrong, and I'm so lost. I want nothing more than to be a mom.
Lord, please have mercy on my soul and poor fragile heart. 🙏🏽💔🌈👼🏽👼🏽🌹
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