Hello all. I think the first part of me coping is getting my story out there, so I can process and come to closure with my loss. I found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago, and it was an accident. I face timed my best friend while I took the test, and within 30 seconds, a hard vertical blue line appeared. My heart dropped into my stomach, I didn't know what to do. I immediately told my boyfriend, and we discussed it, and opted to abort. Our current financial situation barely supports us 2, let alone a little baby. So I called the Denver Planned Parenthood, and scheduled a vacuum aspiration for Saturday, February 13th. I struggled with it for weeks, cried and cried because I didn't want to give up my baby...I just kept telling myself that in the end, it's the responsible thing to do. So Saturday morning comes and my boyfriend drives me to the clinic, and there are a multitude of protesters outside. All types of people, screaming at us from across the lot, "DONT DO IT! I BEG YOU! DONT KILL YOUR BABY!" This alone upset me, and made my decision even harder. I go in, fill out my paperwork, And wait around for a couple hours before they call me back. The first thing I had was a transvaginal ultrasound. I told the nurse I didn't want to see or know anything. At this time, I should've been between 9-10 weeks, and she told me that my gestational sac was only measuring 6 weeks, and didn't have a yolk sac or gestational pole. At first I felt relieved, but then scared, because deep down inside, I DID want my baby. She said she couldn't officially diagnose a miscarriage or blighted ovum until they get a second ultrasound. She told me I could either wait to see if there's growth before I decide, or go ahead and go through with my procedure as scheduled. I decided to go through with it, I was already there after all. So various other tests/counseling occurred, along with another long wait in an inner waiting room before they called my name. The nurse took me back and I at first refused the medication they were giving me, and then backed out of the procedure all together. My boyfriend was furious. It was an awkward and upsetting ride home. I didn't care, I just wanted my baby. A couple days pass, and today, I started bleeding heavily. I feel so gutted and so upset, so sad that I lost my baby. Anyone else going through this, it's comforting to me. It's a horrible emotional process and I feel for anyone else in this situation. Love to all xxx