I hadn't thought about it in a while. Not like this anyway. I always think about it during my 2ww. What if we do get pregnant again but I loose it. I can't go through this again. I wasn't as far along as some of you on here but I've wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Ive taken care of other people's kids my whole life and now it was my turn. It was the most exciting thing. Then it all ended like it never happened and I didn't tell anyone but my mom. Dealing with it on my own was harder than I could have imagined.

But I was siting here today thinking... ok.i have 8 days till af. Do I wait to test or do.i be my overzealous self and test now. Then it hit me... my baby was due this week. I could have been brining home a bundle of joy... but no.

I do think know how there are so many of us going through this. And I don't know how so many of you do it more than once.

I pray for you all. And pray that you will get the little bundle of joy that you've always hoped for.