Bloomy's Relationship Advice #46

Cake • It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When your SO asks for a backrub 
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DO: Play some relaxing music. 
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DO: Get some massage oils or lotions and rub his back. 
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DONT: Kick him in the groin. 
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DONT: Knock him unconscious, drag his body outside, flip him on to his stomach, lather his skin with cooking oil, and fry eggs on his back.