Is it selfish that I want my husbands baby even though he has a terminal illness? We are so young, 30's, and it's so cruel knowing I have maybe 5 short years according to his oncologist...I want us to have a child together and he wants it too...but we feel guilty for the **hopefully** child in our future...we worry about the child being fatherless, he gets worried about our welfare without him...I'm worried about being able to go on without him because I think I will die of heartbreak...then on the other side of that coin, is it selfish to wonder what if a baby is the worst thing for us, what if we are wrong....what if I'm a terrible single mother? What if I end up just sucking at life because I'm broken....am I subconsciously thinking this baby can keep him with me always (ok that's not subconscious anymore as it just came to realization that it's possible...damn...) I'm sorry to post this and be such a dark cloud..it's something I can't stop thinking about. ... i wish I could've explained myself better in this post, im all over the board and but it's impossible to put this into words that can describe the feelings and thoughts and process...