Klonopin: Healing from benzodiazepine dependency
(Repost as I posted late last night don't think anyone saw)
I made a comment on someone's post about Xanax. And I received nothing but support when I expected backlash. I needed that---it gave me the courage to tell my story.
I am 6 months off a rapid taper from clonazepam (Klonopin) a potent benzodiazepine. Other drugs in this class include Xanax, Valium, Ativan. Benzodiazepines are prescribed for acute anxiety, usually on a short term basis. A chemical dependency develops in as little as 10 days. I was prescribed for a sleep disorder (night terrors!), 2mg a night for 6 years. I did not abuse them, I did not get high. Not once.
When I went off over a month or so, to try and get pregnant, little did I know I was in for the worst nightmare of my entire life. One that thousands and thousands of people go through. I am one of 20 percent who suffers from a withdrawal syndrome that lasts for 6-18 months, rarely several years. My neurotransmitters have been altered and the GABA receptors in my brain that regulate your entire nervous system were so down-regulated by the drug, that taking the Klonopin away too suddenly sent my brain into shock. Now I will not be healed until my receptors have fully up-regulated.
It has been the most excruciating 6 months of my life. I was in and out of the ER convinced I was literally dying. I feel like I'm slowly emerging from the depths of hell: Hallucinations/delusions sweats, acute panic; depersonalization and derealization; weeks and weeks without sleep; extreme paranoia; heart palpitations/resting HR of 120-140 bpm; sleep jerks; extreme sensitivity to light and sound; claustrophobia and agoraphobia; racing, invasive thoughts and OCD; restless legs; dizziness; severe nerve. body and muscle pain; feeling of being on a roller coaster; hyperventilation; absence of menstruation; weight gain; vomiting, diarrhea; inability to tolerate most medications and supplements... The list goes on and on. And I didn't have a seizure thankfully.
I am doing much better and am healing slowly, although the process is not linear. However, I am so traumatized, and horrified that doctors continue to prescribe this medicine on a daily basis for more than just a short term. Then, they go and take people off cold turkey or too quickly.
It has been banned for more than 2-4 weeks in some countries.
I didn't ask for this. I took my drug daily as prescribed. I'd give anything to go back and have my original night terrors. Now, I am lucky to get 3 or 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I am trying to find a silver lining to my story through all the suffering. I'm thankful I didn't have a seizure-- many do. Also, I know will emerge from this experience a stronger, grateful, more confident person. No longer will any little anxiety or petty thing upset or phase me. My priorities have shifted immensely. Life is SO precious and sweet with just the bare necessities--and with the love and support of my family and my sweet husband. I will never be the same person again, but ultimately, I am so glad.
Thanks for reading my story and allowing me to feel safe enough to share something so personal.
Edit: if anyone else is suffering from being on these meds, feel free to reach out. There is a way to taper off them very slowly to avoid horrendous withdrawal. No one told me this, including the prescribing physician. Also--- staying on them for the rest of your life isn't an option, as eventually you develop a tolerance and need more and more of the drug for it to be effective.
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
