Vaginismus? Anyone?

I'm nineteen and have been taking the pill for a year (interrupted halfway but went back to taking the pill like 4 months ago). I've had two appointments at my gynecologist's and I couldn't handle either. I've told her that it hurts like hell whenever she tries to get in there and she said it's probably just because of my fear and that I should relax. But I just can't, even if I breathed more and relaxed some more, it's like it's blocked down there. It's like she's stabbing me with a knife or something, I can't help but cry and she stopped it before I could even get any examination done. 
That's also the reason why I cannot get tampons inside. Yet. It does reach inside a bit but never entirely. Like am I THAT tight? 
My first time having sex was last week but I don't even consider it as losing my virginity because it hurt too much for him to enter. 
I looked it up because I was seriously concerned and came upon a term, vaginismus. It means "painful spasmodic contraction of the vagina in response to physical contact or pressure, especially during sexual intercourse" and you can have it without any specific reason. Am I the only one with this problem? 
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COMMENT (11)

Mc

Posted at
Yes, I have vaginismus and suffer as you do. I will tell you that it has gotten better over the last two years but that I still cannot wear tampons (even though I have sex) and I hate getting check ups because it is so painful. If you want to talk more about it, we can. Also there's a group for us you can join on here 

Sh

Shaliyah 🌹 • Feb 3, 2017
Where is the group? 😭

Ar

Arden • Feb 22, 2016
Oh god, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I literally can't talk to my friends about this because I feel like something is seriously wrong with me. And yes, I'd love to join the group!

A.

Posted at
Have you also considered vulvodynia as well? I have both that and vaginismus. I had the exact same experience as you and found out I have both, causing a vicious cycle of pain. I went to the gynaecologist and she suggested medication and creams and that I see a women's health physiotherapist for the vaginismus to do pelvic floor training to control the muscles better. It is managable, and super annoying but at least you know you aren't alone 😊

A.

A. • Feb 22, 2016
What kind of treatments to you do?

A.

A. • Feb 22, 2016
Of it here in Australia and it's been amazing. Completely numb down there but not inside. I also use a small vibrator to kind of relax the muscles on the vaginismus side, it really works well as pelvic floor therapy and foreplay

A.

A. • Feb 22, 2016
Because it was making me have a lot of funky discharge, and I kinda became lazy with my dilators/trainers. I was planning on seeing my gyno and specialist again but I came across this app and another girl told me she uses something called lidocaine which is a topical anaesthetic. I found the version