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I had to read this twice, you just discribed my situation almost accurately.For future reference look up "trans- orientated" sexuality, which is what we both are. You could hurt someone by insinuating that trans individuals are just fetish objects, which trans women often struggle with and fear being viewed as. I realize it can feel kinky but describing it this way creates a aura of negativity about them.
My fetishes
I have some fantasies that most people would consider very strange, especially for a guy.
First, I would love a dominant woman in the bedroom. The thought of her scratching and biting me to mark me as hers excites me to no end.
Second, I have a crossdressing fetish. I know it's weird, but I love doing it. I can only do it in secret of course, because my SO wouldn't like it. I want to go as far as shaving all of my bodily hair. I've shaved my legs once, and I absolutely loved the feeling, especially after applying lotion to them. I was actually able to hide it from my SO too. I have a fantasy of being pegged while all dressed up. I am in no way, shape, or form attracted to the male body, so I couldn't bring myself to have sex with a man.. which brings us to the last of my fetishes that I'm going to post for now.
Third, I have a strange sexual attraction to Trans women (m2f). I don't find all of them attractive, but I know that there are some damn gorgeous Trans women out there. I have never told anyone about this attraction before. I don't even know if I'd actually do anything, given the opportunity. I know it could and would be a lot of fun, but at the same time, I'm pretty ashamed at the thought. I'm not gay at all, but a cock on a woman kind of excites me.
My SO doesn't know at all, and I'd prefer that it stay that way. I just wanted to get that all off of my chest. Sorry for how long the post was, and thanks for reading!
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Well, I'm partial too the local BDSM community and I can tell you that your fantasies are quite common and many women like it whenever their men dress up. 😊I'd suggest trying to talk to your SO, communication is vital of you feel you have to live some of your fantasies and won't be happy if you can't. That might end in you cheating on her and feeling guilty or you feeling unhappy because you're think you're missing out on something. No matter what it is, you have too talk if you're not happy/content in a relationship. I hope you'll find a way to be happy, with or without satiating your curiosity and fantasies, however you choose 😊
You never know you're SO might be ok with your fetishes. You can always drop subtle hints to see how she reacts. Tell her during sex you want her to bite/scratch you, that's not too uncommon. Shave your chest and ask if she likes it - you can then slowly ease into shaving your legs around her (if she likes your chest shaved why not go for more).
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