Need advice...sorry it is a long post 😕

So this is going to be long but if you have the time to read it and give me some advice, I would very much appreciate it. My husband and I have been married for about four and a half years... Been together for 10 and we have an almost perfect relationship. We are best friends and love and support each other so much but we have one big issue that we always fight about...My family.

To make a long story short, he has a big issue with my parents because they have never been the greatest to me emotionally. They are very materialistic and shallow and have never noticed when they hurt my feelings. I used to tell them when I was a kid but now I'm just used to it and I don't say anything because I don't want the conflict and because I know nothing will change. Obviously I feel tied to them because they are my parents but he feels like he should not ever even have to see them. We talked about this a lot before we got married because he took forever to propose because of them. I keep reminding him that he's not only married me but also my family. I do not even see them that often and when I do all they talk about is all the things that they are going to buy and dig themselves into more debt. So I can't even say anything nice to him to defend them!

 Lately he has been saying that he's been thinking about what is going to happen with our kids because we are trying to conceive ... And he is convinced that my parents are going to hurt their feelings all the time or just be a big disappointment to them. I keep trying to tell him that they will not see our kids very often so it won't be a big deal. By the way my parents live about an hour away from us so we both keep saying if they want to see our kids they are going to have to come to us.

When I go and see them which is probably about once every couple of months, I usually pick a day when my husband is working 24 hours so that he will not be able to come and I will not have to make up an excuse but if he is not working then I just make an excuse but he does come with me two or three times a year.

So my point is, he is starting to be really bothered about this and won't tell me what he wants me to do...I would like to just distance myself from them but don't want to hurt their feelings so I end up lying and making excuses not to do things with them when they ask. My husband hates that I lie to them because he was taught NEVER to lie about anything to anyone but I feel it is okay to spare their feelings and avoid conflict...

I don't know how to fix this issue because I obviously can't cut ties with my family but I am tired of them asking where my husband is when I see them...He wants me just to tell them that he doesn't want to see them and they can call him but that would hurt their feelings and I do not want to go there.