well apparently this fool thinks that no matter what, he gets the last name regardless. and he really got defensive about it! 

I told him I thought of bringing up the conversation (about last names) but it wasn't worth the discussion or argument. (I had looked on here and some people just agreed that if the dad was there and involved they went ahead and gave the child the fathers last name.)

my thing is, we aren't married so I don't HAVE to do anything. I can sign the birth certificate with whatever name and last name I want- but, you aren't a shitbag of a person for me not to go ahead and give your child a name after you. 

BUT, I did give him an unlimatim (a while ago) and said that after 4-5 years of us being together, if we're not married, I'm leaving. 

simple as that. if he believes me or not is on him but I'm serious. 

so in about 2 years if we aren't married or darn near close to a wedding date I really will leave. 

that being said I didn't mind giving the child his last name because either 

a) we'd be married and I'd share my last name and his eventually anyways (the baby just happened to have come first... oops) or

b) we wouldn't be married and I would leave the relationship and change the baby's last name back to mine. it's that simple. 

then that got me upset on a whole different level cause I'm thinking, I'm carrying the baby, I can't poop, I have a uti, I don't have an appetite, I'm tired because I keep getting up to pee, my nipples are cracking and sore and my boobs itch and I'm dealing with all this and working so hard to create this miracle, only for me to bring up a "when the baby comes we can try this wake up/sleep schedule so we can do it together" conversation only for me to realize it's stupid because he's only taking a week off of work. so really how can he even be involved as a dad when he wont register at the store with me, doesn't care to give input on shower or invite details and obviously isn't helping to bring this life into the world so I was just mad! like what the hell? I do all this, push a whole child out my hooha, for you to spend a week at home only to go back to work and I'm back to waking up all through the night and day alone. I'm just jealous of I don't know what, because how can I have this perfect idea of a family and what a dad is like, but now I'm like how can a damn dad even be involved in an infant child's life if they immediately go back to work! all this work I do and all this work he can't do, but still feels obligated like its his God given or constitutional right to just be handed a baby and say "by the way he has your last name, and when tax season comes I'll give you half the child credit." 

😑😫😠😒 

honestly I was just pinning ideas for the shower, thought of this and became tremendously irritated. 

I had to vent. 

if you read to the end, thanks for staying tuned!