Baby Shower Drama... Petty??

Question

My mom and cousin are planning my baby shower... My mom is a very animated person and emotional. She loves to plan and decorate, but only wants to do it her way.  I made it so clear to her that a few things were important to me: the invitations and the theme.  She was upset and offended that I was "trying to control" my baby shower, and she described it as an "old planes, cars, and trains" theme for my baby boy. I loved it... Because I reeeaaallllyyyy don't like baby animals and the typical cartoon-ish baby shower (I appreciate its cuteness when it's other people's shower, just not mine). I loved the old world, mature theme she had planned. I tried to be as gentle about it as possible and not interfere, and told her I loved the theme and she could plan and decorate to her hearts desire.
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The invitations came. They were misprinted and messed up by the website, which sucks. They're also covered in baby elephants.  I called her and asked what happened to the invitation with the old planes on it... She said they changed the shower to a baby elephant theme.  I feel devastated.  I really, REALLY don't care for baby animal parties... And this is the only baby shower I get. I'm trying not to upset her, because she is easily affected and hurt.  I just want to cry.  I feel like I'm being a bitch for wanting something different when others are spending their time and money to do something special for me.  I've just had this idea of my baby shower and what I do and don't like... and I feel devastated.  It feels like it isn't my shower.  I'll be walking into a room of elephant-explosion, the kind of theme I dislike the most.  I didn't think it'd be like this... But I'm keeping my mouth shut and letting her do what she wants. She's spent too much money and time up to this point to change it. Am I a horrible person for feeling this way? I feel like I should be only be grateful and not complain. I'm just so, so sad.

Answer

No offense, but I think being "so so sad" because your baby shower is baby elephant themed is ridiculous.

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I was completely out of my shower planning but my sisters would never plan something that they knew I wouldn't like. I would be more upset with my mom being disrespectful and letting her ego get in the way than at the actual decorations. You have to remember that it's just a party, you don't have to carry the theme into the nursery, and if you get any cutesy cartoon or elephant presents, you can take them back.

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I feel your pain. I wanted something unique for my baby shower and was just waiting for the 100 percent gender reveal, but my mom didn't want to wait and planned it around what she wanted. I was really upset but tried to let it go. It turned out nice and we had a lot of people show, but I still wish I could've had what I really wanted.

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No I think they should honor your request! Why plan a shower for someone else  if you're going to do it like its your own shower! That's why I'm doing my own..I don't like themes either such as cartoon characters or animals. I'm only have a color scheme (pink white and gold). When my child is old enough she can choose what she likes and I'll go with that. I don't even want a diaper bag or baby gear with characters on it.

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My mom picked my shower theme and I don't really care for it, but the theme is the last thing I'm going to care about on that day. I'll just be happy that I get to spend time with my friends and family. No offense but I think it's silly to be upset over this when you have family members kind enough to host your shower.

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Idk if I would be extremely upset. While I'd be disappointed, I wouldn't care as much as long as I did get have to worry about having a good time. Try not to stress over it. It's just a party.

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It's not petty to be upset. While no one is entitled to a baby shower, if one is given it is YOUR baby shower... it's like birthday parties, after your child gets a certain age, while they aren't entitled to a birthday party, you allow them to choose their theme because it would be pretty sad to say to your son (I use son just because I'm having a boy) "well i know you like this avengers theme" plan around that for a bit and then last minute go "I actually liked this spongebob theme better, even though I know you don't like spongebob" that'd be pretty crappy of me as a parent. I understand your mom is excited but if you won't put your foot down now, or at least be able to come to a compromise she's going to do this the whole pregnancy and after the birth because she knows she can just get a pouty face and you'll give in. My "mother in law" wasn't about having any of my ideas, I'm not a huge fan of the typical Mickey mouse, animal theme thing, I just feel like it's completly cliché. My ideas for my son's baby shower was pokemon, or music themed because his dad and I are both very musically involved. She wanted to do winnie the pooh, and I wasn't about that life even as a child I wasn't much of a fan of winnie the pooh so I decided to compromise with her and go with something that we could base a nursery around, so we decided on Lion King, while it was still an "animal" theme it was at least a movie I still enjoy to this day. Just be open and honest with your mom and try to find a happy medium, because what's the point of going to a party that you aren't 100% happy with.

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I would be upset. This is partly why I planned my baby shower with my cousin my first two. It was fun for us and made it so much better. And I'm planning this one alone. Well my hubby is helping a little. I think you will still have fun but I don't blame you at all for being upset. Especially since you told her your dislike about baby animals. I would be really mad. But it's kinda to late now. I'm sorry but try to make best of it ;) good luck hun

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Nothing you can do about it now except suck it up. I would be pissed at my mom though.

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Is there any way you can get her to add in elements of things you like in the decor also?? Maybe send her some ideas from Pinterest so she gets an idea of what you want?

Baby Shower Drama... Petty??

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