Feeling hopeless

Journey💕11-9-16
Hello! I'm tootie and I'm trying to conceive. Im 24 yo and I have a 6 yr old son. He was born at 25 weeks. On September 22 2015 I gave birth to another baby boy at 20 weeks. He did not survive. I don't want to keep having preemies and watch them suffer but I very much so want a big family. I feel guilty that I'm still trying to conceive 😞 ...Advice?