Could really use a friend to talk to.

I've been battling depression and anxiety for 5 years. I've been hospitalized in my past for it. I've been in a good place in life and we decided to try for #2. October I came off my Zoloft, Xanax, and remiron. Well here I am almost March and nothing still. In the mean time I'm struggling to keep going I'm shaking, having extreme anxiety, having emotional melt downs. I don't want to take any medications that could hinder my chances. But I wonder if my ttc issues is bc I'm so stressed. I pray so so much try and relax and stay calm but so far it's not helping me. Any suggestions or thoughts are appreciated.