Going threw a divorce and my ex still..

Kelly • Mom of 4
Verbally abuses me when I do speak to him,witch isn't often, I hate it. I filed back in Nov were having custody issues is why we haven't got it finalize yet. I really want it over with though. I wish I never got married though, he ruined what marriage meant to me and idk how to or if I'll ever get that back. And I got my tubs tied cuz I thought I be with him my whole life and we're done having kids. so Im struggling with that regret to. I'm glad I'm getting a divorce but at same time I wish I could go back and never get married in first place. Why isn't their a time machine. I really need one. I would change so many things. Thanks for reading I'm just venting.