Depressed/suicidal

Am I the only person who has depression and suicidal issues and people think your fine, no one knows how you feel or what happens behind closed doors? Am I the only person who hides there self behind a wall so no one knows what's happening to you? Am I the only person who's parents don't know a thing? My mom and dad think I'm perfectly fine but when I go for showers I curl up in a corner and just sit there because I have no more tears to cry, I have no more feelings, I just go numb to the pain and sorrow if the world I live in. I think about suicide on a daily basis but my thing is I don't know if I would ever go that far....I might......I might not....I remember my grandma saying "the way I see it is if someone made up there mind about going suicide you can't stop them, but you can change there mind." I just wish I could tell someone and they would make me change my mind. But no one cares about me that much, I'm a nobody, and that's all I will ever be.....

Does anyone understand me?