This really is just venting.. Please Don't mind me..

I feel fat and uncomfortable. I feel unattractive and insecure. I also feel unprepared. I'm having cold feet!

I didn't plan this pregnancy And although I'm not necessarily upset I'm not idk ecstatic.

I love my baby. I cherish his movements and his heartbeat and i want the best for him just like i do for my others. I just.. Hhhhhhuh! Wish it were different. I feel like my body has betrayed me. I know I'm emotional and hormonal but i feel like i should have avoided this situation!

With that being said I'm preparing for his arrival just the same. Choosing a name. And pediatrician and the whole 9. Whether or bit Hell be circumcised. His father is the happiest thing since the invention of amusement parks. That helps me to accept it. This is not a situation i can change.

Maybe its meant to be This way..

😞

June can't get here fast enough. I'm over being pregnant. But I'm so happy he's healthy and that His father is here with me. I'm not alone.

#sheesh

Thanks for reading my secret journal.

💋