Okay ladies.. long story.. I'll try to make it short..

So.. my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year.. have had two miscarriages and been engaged twice.

He left me when we first got together for another girl. ( I'm still hurt by it because he continued to talk to her ) he never cheated on me, he does hang out with this girl ( I'm friends with her too) but her and him both tell me stories about how they used to cuddle and he used to stay the night at her house and how he is still going to no matter what I say and that I should trust him. He puts his friends before me. Eariler today we were talking I told him I finally knew were in stand to him ( like how important I am) and he laughed at me.. his friends, his car, his money, and weed are all more important than I will ever be to him.. nothing I do matters to him it feels like. I started taking depression pills because I got so upset all the time and mad ( I don't like taking pills ) but I started to because I felt like that would help and he wouldn't be so hateful.. I know a lot are going to stay I'm an idiot for staying but he's my first honest to God true love. And I don't know what to do. Am I fighting for something past the point of being fixed.. or should I keep trying... don't be rude either. Thank you.