16 week Loss

At 11w2d I went to the doctor with a subchorionic bleed that heeled within 2 days. The bigger concern was the 8mm NT behind my baby's neck. At 11w4d I had a cvs done. A week later I got my blood work back that I was high risk for carrying a baby girl with Turners Syndrome. The next day I received the cvs results that she had severe Turner syndrome. The next option was to terminate or wait till 16 weeks and do a level 2 US and see her cardiac functions. I am 16 weeks today. I saw my beautiful Turner baby wave at me, shake her little cute butt, I got to see her little feet, her cute nose and her lips. In my eyes she was perfect! she was my perfect Turner baby. Her heart was beating strong and she was very active moving around and as she always did- she made the sono tech work to get the proper pictures lol. Unfortunately she has developed hydrops and her left ventricle is smaller in comparison to her right, her brain appeared normal but was under pressure from fluid. My baby girl although active and waving had so much fluid around her. Seeing her move around I know I couldn't allow myself to have her suctioned out of me alive. Today my So and I decided the less painful way for our baby girl. We had her heart injected with lidocaine and we watched her and prayed for her and told her we loved her until her heart stopped. I am scheduled for a D&C tomorrow. I can't stop asking myself why me and I can't stop saying this isn't fair. I wanted my baby girl, I got my baby girl, and I couldn't keep her, I had to give her back. It sucks. Don't know what I would've done without my SO, he has been so strong for me. I feel like a failure to him because we misscarried at 6w4d in September and today  we let our little one join other angel babies at 16 weeks. Sleep peacefully baby girl! and thank you guys for all the support and kind words.