Lupus, 19 weeks 3 days, no heart beat

I can't stop crying. Our perfect little girl left us. Can't stop blaming myself for having lupus. Second miscarriage in a row. Last one only lasted 8 weeks. But this time we've seen so many ultrasound of this baby girl. Sucking hands, little feet. Moving around like a bundle of joy. But on my Thursday appointment when I saw her. She was curled up like she's very scared and motionless, no heart beat. My heart is broken. Looking at my belly with my little love still in there, but shrinking everyday,I just can't stop crying. And doctor said because the placenta is low. I can't even be induced. It has to be a D&C. I want to see my baby girl and say good. Can't even do that. This was the last ultrasound when my baby's still alive. I miss her so much.