Coping

Lost my baby exactly a week ago.. worked up the courage to go see two of my best friends that had babies recently.. I did well controlling my feelings.. I was jealous though and cried on the way home. But now I miss their babies!.. doing a double date with another couple and they are 30 weeks pregnant. Goodluck to me 😕 .. I have to move on.. and il have to face this sooner or later. My heart is in peices. Still checking my hcg .. went down to 38.. and still bleeding 😒 I just want to go back to before I was pregnant and to when we were ttc. Is that so much to ask for?