Early Natural Miscarriage

J
Hi Laides, I had an early natural miscarriage. It took about 4/5 days to stop completely bleeding- all very light bleeding with no cramps, and about a week to get all hcg out of my system. 
I had a 30/32 day cycle before this, anyone else that had their period 32 days after? I'm having cramps now but they come ago and some mild stabbing pain- much like I had when I found out I was pregnant. I'm terrified to test yet because I'm scared of the outcome. I'm scared it will be negative and I think that would be devastating after a miscarriage and I'm terrified that it will be positive because I don't think I can handle another loss! Praying hard and asking God to please only give me a bfp if he feels I am ready to keep my baby.