D&C on Friday (Blighted Ovum)

I have my D&C on Friday. On one hand, I feel like I will be relieved to have it done because I know it'll be over, no more symptoms of pregnancy and positive pregnancy tests (I have a blighted ovum so I'm still having all of the symptoms). Maybe it'll be easier to grieve and move on once I have the procedure...

But on the other, I think everything will hit me. I've only been able to cry twice, I think because I still have hope that it's not true.

It's really hard to not know when I lost the baby. I had a positive at 3 weeks so I know I had to of lost it early but I feel like these past weeks 8 weeks have been a lie and that my body betrayed me.

Saturday was supposed to be our photo shoot day where we were going to have pregnancy announcements made, I start school on Monday (I can't drop the class or I'll lose my financial aid ) and next Saturday is my friend's baby shower who is due in 8 weeks and I wasn't even able to tell her I was pregnant yet. I'm happy for her but it's going to be so hard to sit there and watch her open baby gifts etc. We were also going to announce on Easter that I was pregnant...I would've been 12 weeks :'(

It's going to be a really hard couple of weeks :'(